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In-N-Out Burgers Stole The Show At The Genesis Open

I’ll be honest, I’ve done a fair amount of golf blogging recently and most of it has revolved around diarrhea. 

Riviera week is always an exciting one for the game of golf. It’s February, it’s dreary, and football is over, so there’s a twinge of sadness for a lot of sports fans. Thankfully, as a little pick-me-up, the stars were out in Los Angeles to offer up high-quality golfin’ this weekend. It was a stacked field with all the big names and it’s always a popular tournament taking place at one of the premier venues on tour. 

On top of all that, you have the Tiger Effect. Nothing gets the people going like Tiger Woods playing golf, that’s just a fact. Tiger’s new clothing line released this week so he’d been in the headlines, but more importantly, he was teeing it up for the first time since the Masters last April. What a weekend for golf, what an event, let’s go Tiger. Everyone seemed to be having a jolly old time.  

Things were going relatively well until Friday. On Thursday after his round, Tiger mentioned his back had been acting up a bit and spasming. Okay, everyone STAY CALM. Considering the fact that his spine is literally fused together by screws and hardware, this was only mildly concerning for any rational fan. Of course he’s a little sore after his first real action in almost a year.  

What everyone didn’t see coming was an early DQ. Tiger withdrew halfway through his second round and the alarm bells started blaring. When you see the below image on your TV screen, your mind could understandably go to the darkest of places. Suddenly, that calm assuredness left my body and was replaced by dread. 

This shit was a whirlwind. Was it his spinally-fused back? Was it his surgically-repaired leg? Was it a knee or ankle or some other injury we don’t even know about? Looking the way he did getting carted off the course, I was sure that he’d aggravated an old injury and we wouldn’t be seeing him playing again for a long, long time. It doesn’t take a body language expert to decipher this one: he was not well. Not to mention, when he got back to the clubhouse there was a firetruck and ambulance there waiting for him. I was actually scared. 
 
Thankfully, In-N-Out poisoned the field and gave everyone stomach flu. 
 
Tiger was food poisoned. THANK GOD. I’m very sorry he had a tummyache and felt like hot garbage on the course, but damn am I glad it was that. He was reported to have taken several laborious bathroom breaks on Friday, fighting dizzy spells and then dehydration. Ultimately, it was too much and Tiger threw in the towel. Later on he confirmed that he indeed withdrew due to illness, so it was a collective sigh of relief for TigerHeads everywhere.
 
In-N-Out’s reign of terror didn’t stop there. Jordan Spieth, the world number 13 golfer was disqualified from the Genesis Open because he signed an incorrect scorecard. He signed for a 3 but made a 4. This may not seem like In-N-Out’s fault but stay with me. 
 
Two things can be true here: 1. It’s a very dumb rule to fully disqualify him for this (unintentional) slip-up, and 2. It’s not that hard to document your score correctly. Regardless, he took the blame and spent the rest of the weekend as a spectator. He’s a professional golfer, he’s signed a million scorecards in his lifetime and never fudged a number, so why did he sign an incorrect scorecard on Friday? Well, as fate would have it, he was also fighting the primal urge to shit his pants. In a mad dash to get to the clubhouse, he didn’t double check his numbers, leading to the error on his scorecard. This outcome was highly unfortunate, but he was a good sport about it.

Last but not least, the 54-hole leader in the clubhouse heading into Sunday was Patrick Cantlay. He struggled for much of his final round and finished at +1 on the day, eventually falling to Hideki Matsuyama. To be fair, I’m not sure he should be beating himself up all that bad because Hideki Matsuyama was one shot off the course record – Cantlay and everyone else ran into a buzzsaw. Not to mention, he was apparently dealing with “the crud” as well. More details emerged after the round when Cantlay’s coach commented that he’d woken up that morning with a fever, fighting through some sort of illness. All of the sudden a T-4 finish and +1 makes a little more sense if he was battling through the same thing everyone else was. I wonder what it could’ve been? In-N-Out strikes again and they truly did a number on this tournament. 

 
This tweet perfectly sums up the event for the unlucky few that made the mistake of eating a bad turn-burger.